yearning sometimes has teeth

It's not always paralyzing aches and weary nights of longing.

If you would have told me fifteen years ago that I’d be releasing my first official single in 2026, I would have been skeptical. It’s not for a lack of determination. It just seemed quite improbable. If you’ve read any of my past work you understand why.

That’s the thing with art though, it never really leaves you. Even when you aren’t creating you are experiencing your moments of life, and if you are paying attention, you’re also experiencing art.

Sometimes those things are joyful, sometimes they are terrifying, and sometimes they are reborn later in a creative work.

My upcoming song YRND is one of those creative moments.

I’ve been paralyzed by yearning before

I don’t think any human is a stranger to the ache of longing, even craving something out of reach, out of touch, out of this life perhaps. I am no longer young, but I still remember what those yearnings felt like.

I’m in my forties now, and I know that my yearning has evolved. I suppose if we are to mature and become wiser, it has to evolve. This brings me to my point.

I know what it feels like when you’re young, but now I also know it as an older person with more wisdom, more wholeness and grounding. Yeah, I may still experience yearning, but it no longer paralyzes me.

It becomes a reminder of what is precious and what is not

What I noticed most is, the things I yearned for before are not the things I do now. Instead of yearning for a person, or a nostalgic part of your life, you begin to understand that many things are meant to come for a time and then pass when the time is over.

Aging of all things will teach you to accept this. It is the only way to grow from your past yearnings, past lives.

I care deeply about things like building family stability, relationships that start with strong foundations, reputation, respect, peace and love that can outlive labels, contracts and societies. You can say, yearning has become a catalyst for my deep work. Not all things are within your power, but many things are and that is the whole point.

What yearning looks like for me now half way through my life

I think it requires teeth first of all. It begs for vulnerable honesty and the willingness to not repeat cycles that cause harm or losses. After all, we can all think of moments in our lives where our actions or inaction may have lost us something we cared about. Yearning now serves as an impetus to protect what I have built, created, nurtured and soothed.

Yearning for the things I deeply care about protect me from yearning for things I could lose, or things that can be out of reach.

Maturing puts you in a place where you can protect your cherished things. Maturing lets you experience what yearning is like when you are whole. It lets you experience the positive parts of yearning, the parts that demand growth. Sometimes that growth looks like breaking your silence. Acting. Doing. Creating. Explosive creativity. Remember, sometimes creating requires destroying too.

Such actions at times ask you to say it a little primal, authentic, honest, raw, bare and completely vulnerable. It is only then that the things you yearn for become the things you protect.

YRND will be released 6.12.26, thank you for your time.